Derek found This Naked Mind after achieving spontaneous sobriety on his own. He still found it life changing and change affirming.
My Story – Backwards
My story is probably similar to others, but it is unique in that it is my story, and a little backwards …
I am a high school administrator, former baseball coach, former teacher. Married to a wonderful woman, four kids, nice house, pension plan for when I’m old, overall great life. No complaints. I actually didn’t have my first drink until college, but – if I’m to be honest – I’ve been drinking regularly since college. So, 20 years of drinking. I’m 41 years old. I went from weekend warrior (no booze on school nights … shame, shame lol) to a few drinks on Tuesday to well, it’s Thursday, I only have to get through Friday, and then it’s the weekend.
Let’s do it again! Vicious cycle. Like your book says … we drink more as the time goes on … So true! I mean, who drinks less as the years turn seasons? No one that I know. Over the years, 1-2 times a week evolved into 6-7 days a week. Sad, but true.
Shelving This Naked Mind
So, I bought This Naked Mind in January of 2019. I read the first 3 pages, then put it back on top of my dresser. I didn’t even get to How and Why It Works. I wasn’t ready. That’s what I told myself. Well … fast forward two months later and my brother (best friend) committed suicide. He was my best friend in the world. 38 years old. Rocked my world. I still deal with it.
Well, my beer/wine drinking became beer/wine/vodka. And lots of it. Definitely not a healthy coping mechanism but my wife, my family, and my friends probably just figured I needed time to deal with things. 5 months after that, my wife was concerned about me and said she got a babysitter so we could go to dinner and ‘talk.’
I felt sick to my stomach, scared, sad, and like a total failure. I knew what was coming. My wife of 12 years did not yell at me or scream, but she had this look of disgust and sadness and concern that I will never forget. I had to cut back she said. But I knew what I had to do. I had to stop/quit completely. I owed it to my wife. My kids.
(And using my brother’s death wasn’t fair to my brother because I was drinking for 20 years before his death so if I’m being honest, that was just a convenient excuse.)
The day was December 2, 2019. I’ll never forget that night because that was the last time alcohol had any power over me.
Achieving Spontaneous Sobriety
Now, you may be wondering, uh, where does This Naked Mind come in? Did you ever read it? Why is this guy emailing me to tell me he bought the book but put it back down? Well, much like your dad I guess, I achieved spontaneous sobriety. The next morning after my wife talked with me I picked up the book again, and put it back down.
I didn’t want to start the book, then get frustrated with the process, give up, start drinking beer again. I didn’t want the guilt. So, I literally said to myself … ‘no more.’
Cold turkey. And if I do say so myself, I picked a helluva time to stop drinking … right before Christmas, and NYE, and then Covid hits, and I have all this idle time to ‘work from home.’ It was tough at first but I was hell-bent. And like your book says … today is the day to quit … we can always justify a reason to drink. And there’s always another social event coming up in which to partake.
Ready To Start Again
Today is November 9, 2020. I am a couple weeks shy of one year without alcohol. I had every intention of ‘blowing it out’ on December 2, 2020. I have been hounded by my social circle of friends … when are you going to drink again? Why’d you quit? This has gone on long enough. You’ve made your point. You’ve stopped drinking longer than my pregnancies. Blah blah blah.
And truth be told, I was going to party with my friends, maybe drink a few beers, celebrate my big one-year of sobriety accomplishment! Not anymore.
Confirming My Spontaneous Sobriety
I read This Naked Mind!
I started reading your book yesterday morning before my kids got up. I couldn’t put it down. I just finished the book 5 minutes ago. I will still have my party, but I won’t be drinking at the party. Don’t need it. I know it won’t do anything for me. And I cannot think of one reason why I’ll ever need to poison my body again. I was on the fence about it anyway, but your book opened my eyes. I think This Naked Mind found me, not the other way around. I read it exactly when I needed to and I wanted to say thank you.
Interested in Achieving Spontaneous Sobriety?
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Grateful For My Journey
I suppose my journey is a little backwards, but who cares? I’m free. And I feel awesome.
I also gave up soda, and started eating better. I then got really crazy and started working out for the first time since I started dating my wife in ’07. I’ve lost 55 lbs, and fit back into my 32″ pants. That’s been a nice little side benefit.
It’s amazing to me to how much time I used to spend drinking! I used to feel like 24 hours in a day was never enough! I suppose when you spend 3-4 hours a day drinking, it really takes away from your life.
Share Your Story
Do you have a story of achieving spontaneous sobriety with This Naked Mind? Please share your story to inspire others and help them!