For Sarah, life was a party for the longest time. When her drinking turned her into someone she no longer could recognize and didn’t like at all, she knew something had to change. Sarah took advantage of everything This Naked Mind offers and hasn’t looked back.
Life Was A Party
Born and raised in the heart of Illinois, I started drinking socially back in 1993 when I was 14 years old. Partying on the backroads. Running through cornfields to dodge the police was a regular occurrence on the weekends where I was from. Throughout my 20s, life was a party! I had a list of contacts I could call to meet up with when I got off work. Everyone knew they could rely on me to meet up with them any day of the week. I was usually the 1st person at the party and the last one to leave. Always proud that I could keep up with the guys. The nights always started out at happy hour with friends but, being that the bars didn’t close until 4 a.m., I usually found myself searching for the after-party which would take me back to a random person’s house with strangers who were my “new best friends.”
Even though I was living this wild, free-spirited party lifestyle, at this point the only time I EVER drank alone was while I was getting ready to go out or while I was at the bar, waiting for the others to arrive.
Life Is Too Short
Following my dream to live in the mountains, I moved to Colorado at age 32 in 2011. Having that “life is too short” mentality, I was excited about a new adventure and welcomed the fresh start!
I met my husband here and we now have 2 kids (8 and 6 years old).
My husband isn’t much of a drinker. Once we had the babies, my bottles went from beer bottles to the ones you put milk in. The party days were over but, at age 33, I welcomed that life change. Still drinking once in a while, just not EVERY weekend, and usually at home with my husband and friends. I should note here that I still never knew when to stop once the beer would hit my mouth. I drank with a purpose. With my all-or-nothing personality, even then, I drank way too much on the occasions I DID drink.
At age 38, in November 2017, my mom lost her 7-week battle with Lung Cancer. To numb the pain, my “once in a while” drinking turned into full-blown binge drinking every single day. Even canceling appointments in the salon where I worked so I could go home, drink, and tune everything out!
Just getting in the car was a trigger for me. That was where my mom and I had our daily talks. I would just put her on speakerphone and talk to her as if she were in the passenger seat next to me.
I eventually found that self help audio books was a way to fill that void … “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis was my 1st!
Out Of Control
In November 2018, around my mom’s 1 year anniversary, everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. I needed to do shots in order for the beer to serve its purpose. The sooner I could numb myself the better! Drinking a 12 pack a day, I was not able to see what my husband saw in my “creepy corner” as he liked to call it. I didn’t want to play with the kids outside because God forbid I leave my fridge. Sneaking drinks to the pool (when none of the other mommies did), doing shots in my closet when the in-laws were over for dinner, you name it. I couldn’t do anything without drinking. I DID go to work. Like I said always cutting out early the minute the urge to drink hit me. A ton of my clientele left that year and I can’t say I blame them for leaving!
The “Aha!” Moment
It was around Halloween 2019 that I had my moment. Not a life changing rock bottom, but a life changing Aha!
Fall has always been my favorite time of year. Even before I was a mom I would go to the pumpkin patch. I love getting lost in the corn mazes, picking apples, and chopping off pumpkins! Now that I AM a mom I love sharing all the things I love with my kids!
On Oct 20, 2019, I took my kids to my beloved pumpkin patch. The entire time all I could think about was the fact that I wasn’t home and able to drink. I was irritated with them and very short-fused. Everything they said and did was so annoying to me. I snapped at them left and right for no reason. I rushed us through the corn maze and we didn’t even leave with a pumpkin. The minute I got back to the house, all of a sudden I was “happy mommy.” All smiles, laughing, energetic, and very loving to them as I cracked open my beer. It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon.
This was the beginning of the end for me. At that very moment, it was as if someone put a mirror up to me. I was able to reflect on myself. This is not the mom I am meant to be. This is not the person I am meant to be.
Life Was Not A Party
It is a long story that lead me to that day. When I saw what I had become I knew I had to change.
My journey to quit drinking started when I found Annie’s audio book, This Naked Mind, and then the November 2019 Alcohol Experiment.
Fast forward about 9 months and many, many, MANY day 1s…
August 4, 2020 the doctor told me that my “age spot” was in fact Stage 1 Malignant Melanoma …” the kind that likes to travel,” he explained. Thank God we caught it before it could metastasize! Because of the location, It required surgery in the O.R. I was to have it elevated and no weight bearing for 2 weeks.
My Dad flew in to help with the kids while my husband was at work. I picked him up from the airport the day before the surgery on August 16, 2020. We went out for dinner. Each ordering a beer while we waited for our food. We clinked our glasses and said “cheers!” … that is the last drink I have had.
Ending The Party
Do you feel like life was a party but you’ve now overstayed your welcome? Join us in The Live Alcohol Experiment for daily emails, videos, live coaching, and support from others just like you! Learn more here!
Even though I have countless data points under my belt, I have no regrets because I have gotten to know myself better and better with each and every one.
Aside from the 2019 November LAE, I also have participated in the 2020 September LAE and the 2020 October LAE, the March 2021 LAE, and have finished 100 Days of Lasting Change. I love the different coaches and LIVE Q&As!!!!
Today I am proud to say I am on day 205 and I haven’t heard from “Bertha” in a very long time. 🦋
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